Sunday after church, we are sitting over spaghetti discussing the highs and lows of our weekend. It takes longer when given more than one day to process, but we are in no hurry. Sunday afternoon looms large.
Popular “high” answers include a visiting nephew, a successful wrestling tournament, a new driver’s license. The unity of celebratory events does not escape me as these moments are, ultimately, the ties that bind. String them together and they are beaded cords of days, months, years which we will one day perceive from a distance with a piercing combination of loss and joy, this dichotomy one of the most powerful emotions of the human heart.
And then the “lows:” Tales of worn-out brake pads, leaving a loved one at the airport, too much homework before Monday.
It is in these precious, unhurried moments of quiet listening and reflection that it dawns on me: Today, sitting over spaghetti with my family on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I can’t think of even one single low. Not one. At all.
I am utterly….contentedly….soulfully…..happy.
At 45 years old, twenty-two years of marriage to Fireman, three half-grown children, years of church/family/friends relationships, and a roller coaster of life circumstances, how deeply do I appreciate that I have not arrived at this place quickly, easily, nor obediently. I admit I unfriended Idealism in my 30’s. At some point, I swapped my rose-colored glasses for readers which, quite frankly, are much more practical.
Like Paul in Philippians, I certainly do know what it is to be in need physically, emotionally, spiritually. I also, all glory to Him, have a small concept of plenty.
But Paul’s secret of contentment has been elusive, a concept of head more than heart because really, aren’t we all, if we’re honest, striving for something more? Working toward the next thing? Wishing this were different, that were better….that WE were better?
This Sunday, gazing at my people face-to-face, basking in their company and humors and shared lives, taking every possible cell of them in to me with abundant joy, immense gratefulness at the privilege of being me ~
Me in this place ~
Me at this moment ~
I sense what it means to wear pure contentment as a royal robe, and to receive it as the precious gift that it most truly is … a gift from a God who most truly loves.
And I will delight in a most holy celebration of its secret.